


Lacuna

by lynnmonster



Category: Riddle-Master Trilogy - Patricia A. McKillip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-12-21
Updated: 2003-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-25 02:13:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1626134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lynnmonster/pseuds/lynnmonster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Author's Notes:  Much of this story takes place while Astrin has taken an amnesiac stranger into his home-in-exile.  This stranger is Morgon, Prince of Hed, but neither of them are aware of his identity.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Lacuna

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Sssenza

 

 

 

 

* * *

  
 _Lacuna - a blank space or missing part_  
 

* * *

  


_Clack_

The sound of the nameless man fitting shards of broken stone back together reached Astrin from the far corner of his hut. He glanced up from the fire he was tending, and observed his guest's efforts. Concentration creased the man's star-ridden brow with a faint line or two, but even in his abstraction, he looked overwhelmingly at peace. 

Astrin envied the man's ability to get so caught up in his activity. It wasn't that he seemed simple, or unconcerned about his loss of memory, but that he approached everything with an immediacy that distilled each new task or puzzle down to its most basic essence. 

And the stranger himself, stripped of name, stripped of history, seemed to be reduced to the purest essence of selfhood, too -- no regrets, no doubts, just a person so open and _present_ that he blazed like a flame in the darkness of Astrin's normally companionless life. 

Astrin had never been so afraid of anyone in his life. Not even his brother's wife. 

This man, this mysterious man, reminded him of things like camaraderie, and companionship, and home. His silence pulled words unwilling or unthinking from Astrin, like the action of a lodestone upon metal shavings. And his ability to draw Astrin out without so much as a questioning glance made him feel helpless and out of control. 

In spite of that, he was more comfortable with the stranger than any other person he'd ever met, and neither of them even knew the man's name. 

Astrin feared what the return of memories might bring. He reminded himself harshly that such a peaceful lack of self-knowledge must necessarily be only temporary, whether the man's past returned to him or not. Because even if his particulars were never re-discovered, new memories would slowly but surely aggregate over the current luminous blank purity of the nameless man who sat before him. 

A slightly-tanned face loomed before him, and Astrin started guiltily. A query appeared on the man's face, and Astrin couldn't help replying, nor could he resist reaching out to grasp the man's shoulder. 

"I apologize. I am no longer accustomed to company, and have developed the habit of allowing my mind to wander where it will. Are you hungry? Good. Xel has caught us some rabbits." The man, who must have been deep in concentration himself, looked pleased and surprised and moved to skin the carcasses. 

Astrin allowed himself to watch the deft movements of the man's hands for a while, entranced by the offhand display of easy skill. He forced himself to turn back to the fire eventually, though, and finish feeding it. He started chopping a few root vegetables to go into the pot along with the rabbits, and wondered at the combination of contentment and terror he felt. 

\+ + + 

_Rrrrrip_

"Don't," Astrin gasped, fear roughening his voice as he willed his unresponsive hand to move, to stop his guest from tearing his tunic any further. "I'm short of clothes," he explained lamely. As a distracting tactic, he recounted the attack he'd just barely survived -- an attack by a man made of seaweed and foam -- while his companion washed and bound his battle-wound. 

He didn't mention that the intimacy of that very moment was far more frightening than his encounter with the otherworldly swordsman. 

Astrin locked his teeth and closed his eyes and withstood the careful ministrations without a sound. He gratefully drank heated wine when it was brought to him. Exhaustion and warmth and alcohol soon sent him to sleep to the rustling sounds of his guest settling by the fire. 

\+ + + 

"Rrrowlrrr!" 

Xel was whining outside the door, and he heard his companion get up to let her in. She claimed the man's place by the fire, and rather than disturbing her, he gently eased himself onto Astrin's pallet and under the blankets. Astrin's heart jumped, but he managed to keep his breathing slow and even. 

After some quiet rearranging the man settled, lying on his side just to Astrin's left. The pallet was not large and there was not much room for the both of them. Heat radiated from the broad torso, buffering Astrin from the chill of the open room. 

Suddenly, he couldn't bear the thought of feigning sleep any longer, so he opened his eyes to see what he'd almost missed. His guest was lying on his side, pillowing his head on his folded right arm and looking directly at Astrin. He smiled in response to Astrin's "awakening" and shrugged a silent -- and not altogether convincing -- apology. 

Astrin couldn't help but smile back, and he rolled onto his relatively unhurt left side to face his friend. He uttered a soft, "Thank you. For everything." The man reached out and patted Astrin's shoulder, then let his hand drop lightly to the side of Astrin's face. 

Astrin looked into his eyes and was struck again by the irresistible immediacy of the gaze that met his. He felt his cheek being stroked with gentle fingertips, and closed his eyes as those fingers tracked across his brow. They brushed a fallen lock off his forehead, then combed their way through his hair once, smoothly from roots to ends. He felt the lifted hair fall back against his neck. 

Astrin waited. He wanted to look at his friend, but he was afraid of what he might see. If he saw desire, he would be lost. He could barely control himself as it was; he knew he would never be strong enough to deny this man anything he wanted. 

He felt a warm hand cup his face and capitulated, opening his eyes again. He watched, entranced, as the man in his bed drew near enough to brush their lips together. Astrin's mouth was dry, it was a desert, it was the wastes, and the man set about soothing that thirst with his own lips and tongue. 

This was ... this felt like home, Astrin thought -- home, with all the attendant warmth and companionship he'd missed for so long. Better than that, though, because he was getting something he'd never dared ask for back in Ymris. 

He twitched as the man he'd been watching for days touched his side, gently, so as not to disturb the dressing. He forced himself to relax and finally melted into the touch, sighing softly. He felt the warmth spreading from that touch all the way down to his toes. 

Still gentle, the man who was seeming less and less a stranger made a happy-sounding noise and scooted his body close enough so that they were touching from chest to knee. Astrin was lying quite still, almost afraid to move, but his companion seemed content to rub up against him much the way Xel butted his hand with her head when she wanted attention. 

Astrin found that far more arousing than he would have expected. 

It seemed that if he had the power to give this mysterious man something he wanted, he was equally powerless to resist doing so. He reached out almost reluctantly and ran an encouraging hand up and down the hip that was undulating so pleasantly. Moving carefully so as not to worsen his injury, he added some small, hitching movements to their repertoire. Even through their nightclothes, the wonderful sensations were as invigorating as a lightning storm after a drought. 

The other man kissed him again -- hungrily on the lips, lovingly on his jaw, ferociously on his neck. Astrin gasped, and the man raised his head with a worried look. Astrin saw comprehension set in and the worry was quickly overshadowed by a warm look of desire. His guest broke eye contact to wrestle the borrowed tunic over his head, and he then cautiously eased Astrin out of his own nightshirt. He kissed the skin above the dressing he'd applied earlier, and then he kissed the skin below it. 

There was no way he could miss Astrin's response, since he was almost nose-to-evidence, but he obviously wasn't bothered by any part of Astrin's body. He nudged Astrin over onto his back, and touched the soft skin on the inside of Astrin's thigh. Then his tongue followed the path his hand had traced, and Astrin shivered. Wet warmth teased the crease where leg met groin and proceeded up to envelop one of his sacs. With a groan, Astrin ran his fingers through the man's hair, mirroring the kind attention that had been lavished upon him earlier. He got a long, slow lick up his shaft in response. Then he had to fill his suddenly-empty lungs with a desperate, arching gasp as that mouth enveloped his straining flesh and began to suck. 

Strong, precise hands cupped his hipbones and held him still as he strained to get either closer to or further away from the sensual onslaught. Either direction would have meant relief -- bringing him release or escape, instead of the almost unbearable sensitivity he was experiencing, partially engulfed in that loving mouth. 

The man teased him a little longer, until Astrin's reactions went from pleased to pleading. Then he was vigorously sucked and swallowed until he emptied himself with a wrung-out cry down his friend's throat. 

He felt satiated and tired. His companion crawled up his body for a few sloppy kisses, and he returned them, murmuring happily. He wasn't sure exactly what the man was doing, since he was too tired and sore to lift his head up to see, but whatever it was obviously felt good, and it didn't take long until that mysterious but already much-loved face grimaced with completion. The man slumped against him and curled his arm around Astrin's torso. Wordless, he still managed to convey affection and sleepy appreciation. Astrin pulled the blanket up to cover them both and settled in for the night. 

\+ + + 

_Pop_

A log cracked in the low-burning fire, waking Astrin. He found himself acting as a body-pillow for his houseguest, a situation that filled him with both pleasure and concern. Was he encroaching, unknowingly, upon someone else's territory? Would the man be disgusted with what they had done if his memory returned? Did he have any right at all to his companion's soothing presence? 

Astrin forced himself to acknowledge that the answers to such questions were immaterial, since he was obviously incapable of denying his friend anything that he might want, regardless of the consequences. Looking at it that way, he realized that from the moment those graceful hands had touched him, the outcome had been inevitable. 

Even so, he couldn't help wondering -- with an unaccountable sense of dread -- what price he might eventually have to pay for this moment of closeness. 

 


End file.
